How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids

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contemporary parents are less authoritarian and more egalitarian with their children. 'Parents your age like to reason with their kids, like they're little adults with rational minds,' my mother says, rolling her eyes. 'No one wants to be the bad guy.'" (p170) It helped "a lot". Holly realised just how much her perspective on their relationship needed to change. But, I was bothered by the, what I interpreted as, straight-up manipulation of her husband. Yes, Dunn is simply following expert advice, but reading about her self-satisfied crowing as she changes some of his more irritating behaviors felt disrespectful. I mean, husband Tom is going to read this book. I would feel devastated if my spouse wrote those sorts of things about me for millions of people to read and dissect. Granted, he was clued in that things were being recorded in a tell-all book, but still.

think of chores as household membership requirements. So you explain to the child, 'Look, it takes a lot of work to run this family, and Daddy works at it, and I work at it, and you can work at it, too, and make a really important contribution...and when they help, you immediately say, 'Thank you! This makes a big difference.'" (p171) Before you disagree or respond to his allegations, try “I hear that you’re frustrated because I left you with the baby all morning and then said I needed a nap.” Use “I” statements If you’ve just emerged from a time capsule in the 60s, welcome to the future! In this world, the… Read moreSo, obvious disclaimer: I don't hate my husband. After hearing an interview with the author on a podcast I listen to, and running across the audiobook on my library app, I figured I'd give it a listen to see if I could glean any new tips.

Tired of having the same fights over and over, Dunn consults the latest relationship research, solicits the counsel of renowned sex and couples therapists, canvasses friends and parents, and even consults an FBI hostage negotiator on how to effectively contain an ‘explosive situation’. Raising a child is full of surprises. No matter how many books, parenting forums, and articles you… Read more

How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids

We assumed that we had worked out all of – or at least the majority of – the kinks in our relationship, and that we had a nice, solid foundation with which to build a family," she says. I have a master's degree in music therapy, which means I've taken quite a number of college level classes on counseling and psychology. In addition to my formal education, for fun I've read books on relationships, marriage, and parenting, in addition to counseling and psychology books for general audiences. Clever, honest, and hilarious . . . Her warm and funny prose will restore hope for moms—and dads—everywhere. Her book should become a baby shower classic. Publishers Weekly

Jancee Dunn blends marital advice from real experts with her down to earth folksy wit in How Not To Hate Husband After Kids. If your husband has a better relationship with his phone than he does with his baby, you need to hit him with this book--and then ask him to read it. Jen Mann, New York Times For Andy and his parner, their relationship only improved when they learned to communicate better, he says. In particular, "whenever we feel like one of us has gone down a road that they don't enjoy, we have to talk about it", he says. Many expectant parents spend weeks researching the best crib or safest car seat, but spend little if any time thinking about the titanic impact the baby will have on their marriage - and the way their marriage will affect their child. We also need to appreciate each other more. At the end of the day and on the other side of all of the experts, Dunn comes to a dozen important realizations. One of which, appreciation, seems to be the magic bullet for most of her formerly-insurmountable marriage woes. It isn't a new message but it is one that is worth repeating.

My thought is that while it’s great to think about this division of labor before your first baby comes, we were so unaware of what having a baby would actually be like, that it would not have been that useful to divide up tasks before the baby arrived (for example, laundry was a much BIGGER task after the baby arrived).

If there's maybe one book to gift a mum-to-be I'd recommend How Not To Hate Husband After Kids. London Mums can't believe how many hours I squandered fuming, in the hopes that Tom would intuitively leap in and help me out. With hindsight, I see that my expectations probably increased because I spend so much time around moms who offer constant and unthinking support: when Sylvie recently ran toward me on the playground, crying with a bloody knee, one friend handed me a wad of tissues, another a bandage, a third a lollipop for Sylvie, all without a break in our conversation" (p248) Life is unpredictably short, and you and the person you have chosen to be with for the rest of your life are arguing about housework. It's not worth it." The author, Jancee Dunn, and her husband Tom were together for nearly a decade before their daughter was born.

Yet he says the changes he says he's observed in his wife still affect their level of physical intimacy. It isn't just sex that is rare now – it's also other types of affection, like cuddling or hugging. "It's maybe a self-esteem thing, where identity gets bound up in being a mom … She'll say, 'I just feel like his mom now, as opposed to more of a confident individual'," he says. "And then, for me, it feels like kind of a rejection." When I was six months pregnant with my daughter, I had lunch with a group of friends, all of whom were eager to pass along their hard-won scraps of parental wisdom. ... " ... get ready to hate your husband," said my friend Lauren. ... Wrong, I told her calmly. I listed various reasons why our relationship was solid... But my friend Lauren was right." locs 115-140 ebook. We joke about how babies change lives but it's not really funny, is it. It is a legit problem that marital happiness decreases because of less sleep, less money, less time, less sex... no need to go on. I think that many, if not most women can relate to the cover image of this book. The harried, flustered mother just trying to get by day by day with as much sanity as she started with, while her frustratingly nonchalant husband casually lives life by the seat of his pants. Probably because he has what we don't...a wife looking out for everything! You have no idea how your identity will shift until you have that kid," says Sherrell. "So, all of a sudden, I care about things that I didn’t before. And my partner's, like, 'Who have you become? Why do you care all the sudden that I’m playing video games?' You become a new person – and your partner has to accept a new partner."